Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
