Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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