Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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