Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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