I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
