eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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