My first STD was from a foam party
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
