Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
