If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
