when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
