There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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