So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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