Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
