i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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