No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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