i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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