Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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