I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
