i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
