Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
