butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
