It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
