That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
