my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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