Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
