Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
