Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
