mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
