Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
