If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
