on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
