Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
