you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
