I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dear god my vagina.
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