I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
