went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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