What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
