just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
