The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
