Jerry, you need to find god
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
