well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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