There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
