Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
