This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I forgot wine drunk hurts
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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