So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
