whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
