Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
