We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Two words: blizzard sex
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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