Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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