went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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